


Road to Recovery

by Thatzly



Series: Stationary Catharisis [2]
Category: Ouran High School Host Club
Genre: Brothers, Gen, Paralysis, Recovery, Sibling Love, Twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-31
Updated: 2012-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-30 10:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/330682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatzly/pseuds/Thatzly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Different POVs of the after-effects of the original story: Stationary Catharsis. </p><p>Each person in the twins lives help with the struggle to come to terms with the permanent changes the accident has created, and they learn how to cope in return.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Road to Recovery

"When you want to move forward you use push both wheels, when you want to turn, depending on the direction, you push one forward and hold the other still."

"I don't understand," Hikaru sighed, flopping back in the borrowed wheelchair after effectively turning himself in the opposite direction he wanted to go.

Kaoru slapped a palm to his face in frustration. "Little kids play with wheelchairs all the time Hikaru and they're able to pick it up faster than you are. I don't even know how many lessons we've had and you still can't do it."

"It took you a while too," the older twin grumbled. "And you were a bad teacher the last few times time since you didn't even want to play along."

"I was depressed," Kaoru deadpanned. "And I didn't have trouble. If I did it was because I was too busy dealing with other more important issues," he shot back making Hikaru shut his mouth in embarrassment.

"Whatever…It's hard for me." Hikaru finally said.

Kaoru sighed, and lift his legs to toss them over the edge of the couch he lay on. He'd taught himself by now to ignore the intense sadness Hikaru showed on his face whenever he had to manually move his limp lower half.

He motioned Hikaru to come over.

Bouncing back, Hikaru proudly pushed himself to coast to his brother, smiling. "I can do that at least."

Kaoru laughed. "Anyone can do that, Hikaru. Get up so I can show you better."

Hikaru stood, and Kaoru tsked with a devilish smile. "Can't use your legs for the entire day, remember. If I can't do something, neither can you."

This received him a groan, but Hikaru sat back down obediently. Kaoru watched as his nervous eyes moved about the couch, probably calculating how he would go about this.

"We have another wheelchair downstairs. How about I get the maids to get it and you can teach me in that one. That way I don't have to get up."

"I like my chair, Hikaru. It's orange and moves better than that hospital brand."

"Can't you make an exception today?"

Kaoru shook his head, face stoic.

With a huff of frustration Hikaru moved the chair closer to the couch like he'd seen Kaoru do many times. He put out a hesitant arm, and leaned his weight onto it as he prepared to make the lunge.

"We could always borrow that transfer belt they used to teach me." Kaoru joked, an obvious jab at how long he was taking.

"It's not fair how you can make fun of me and I couldn't make fun of you." The struggling twin snapped, eyes glaring at his brother.

Kaoru looked down, smiling sadly. When he replied his voice was only a whisper. "Two different situations, but I'll stop if you really want that."

Hikaru shook his head. "N-no you're right. Besides, it is kind of nice that you're becoming able to sort of take these things lighter than before."

"Don't get me wrong. I still hate all of this, but it's nice to actually see someone else struggling just as much as I did." Kaoru turned flustered after his words. "I-I mean it's not nice to see you struggling, but it's—"

"Nice to be able to relate to someone about this." Hikaru finished.

"Yeah." Kaoru nodded.

"Joke all you want, Kaoru. It actually does make this a lot more fun, and it's a change from you being depressed all the time."

"So," Kaoru prompted slowly, a small grin on his face. He pat the spot next to him. "Begin."

Hikaru lift himself using the arm he placed on the couch. He looked to Kaoru for reassurance and received a happy nod. With that, he began to pull himself over to the cushion next to his brother, only to notice too late that the arm grasping the wheelchair's armrest was being stretched out as the chair began to slowly back away from the couch.

"Shit."

The younger twin lunged forward in an attempt to pull Hikaru onto the couch before he fell, but tried in vain. A yelp and loud thump could be heard seconds later.

Kaoru burst into frenzied laughter, not even trying to hide his amusement at Hikaru's attempts. "Forget the brakes, Hikaru?"

The distraught twin hid how red his face was growing behind a half-hearted scowl. "I'm sure there's plenty of stories I could recall about when you were learning, Kaoru."

Hikaru smirked, watching Kaoru's face glow at the many incidents he was sure he could still remember.

"Okay, okay." Kaoru said quickly. This granted him a triumphant grin from his fallen brother. "You made more work for yourself. Now you have to get the chair back over here and get up onto the couch."

"The first one is easy." He pulled the chair toward Kaoru from his new position on the ground, and this time locked the wheels. He checked twice to make sure, knowing that it would be Kaoru and not he who would be trying to get into the chair next.

Hikaru dragged himself until his back hit the couch, and using his arms, lift himself with more ease to sit beside Kaoru.

"I like that method better." He smiled.

"What? The fall down method?"

Hikaru stuck his tongue out childishly in a mock pout. "No, afterward."

They scoot closer to one another, and laced their fingers together.

"Kaoru?"

Said boy looked over to his brother.

"I've been meaning to ask you a few things, but I keep chickening out." Hikaru chew on his lip nervously, dropping his gaze to the floor.

"About?"

It took him a long time to answer, but finally Hikaru spat it out. "About not being able to walk."

Kaoru hummed taking in the topic, and thinking over if he really wanted to open this discussion now or leave it for later.

"I'm sure it's nothing I haven't already been asked, Hikaru. Go ahead."

He heard a heavy sigh, and noticed Hikaru place a shaky hand to his heart. Kaoru's squeezed his brother's hand gently, and Hikaru turned an appreciative smile to him. His face then turned serious.

"Can you really not feel them?"

"Hikaru…" Kaoru frowned. They had gone over the exact same question in the hospital after the accident occurred. He'd given him an answer then, and it would be the same now. He thought Hikaru would have gotten over his denial by now. "You know what I'm going to say."

Hikaru placed a hand on Kaoru's leg, and squeezed. Kaoru silently looked down at the hand. He couldn't bring himself to look up at its owner.

"You also know that my answer isn't going to change."

"So, nothing…"

"I can't even feel the phone in my pocket," Kaoru confirmed. His identical counterpart drooped slightly, but forced a weak smile on his face.

"I figured, but I still had some hope I guess."

It made Kaoru's heart ache. Hikaru finally was getting the closure he needed. Maybe this was why he planned this day, so he could lead them into this very conversation. The younger twin bit his lip trying to force back the lump in his throat. He wanted nothing more than to cry for Hikaru and his hidden burden.

But, why now? Why had he waited so long to deal with all of this? Kaoru understood that Hikaru was trying to be sensitive to how he would react to hearing someone else mourn over his loss, but he had gotten so much better at controlling his emotions. However he should have known better than to think Hikaru was adapting easily.

After revealing his nightmares Hikaru never spoke about his problems with the sudden change in their lifestyle again. He should have realized that Hikaru's nightmares weren't the only product of the accident.

"What else do you want to know?"

Hikaru thought, long and hard, then asked. "Are you done being depressed?"

"I don't know how to answer that."

"How do you not know?" Hikaru snapped. "Yes or no, Kaoru!"

"Hikaru…" he started slowly, cautiously. "It's only been five months."

"That's not a yes or a no."

"It means I don't know! I'm not going to say either way because then I would be lying to you." Kaoru ruffled his hair in frustration, huffing. No longer able to sit still, he slowly maneuvered himself into his chair. He lazily rocked the chair back and forth. This act seemed to upset Hikaru further.

"I just want to know if you're thinking about killing yourself!" Hikaru screamed. He shook, too scared to look at the shocked face of his brother now that he'd gotten his true question out in the open. He closed his eyes, trying to control himself.

"What?" Kaoru asked incredulously.

"I did some research a while ago…and I found some comments from people who are new to everything like you. They were wishing for death because they felt useless and trapped in their own body." Hikaru sucked in a long breath. "Then I remembered some things you said a few months ago, and how all you did was lay around and cry when you first came home."

"That was a while ago…" Kaoru spoke softly.

Hikaru glanced at his brother with glassy eyes. "That doesn't mean your thoughts have changed. You're happier, but it wouldn't be the first time you tried to trick me because you thought it would benefit me in the end."

"Sometimes." The younger boy admitted quickly.

Hikaru blinked. Then understood. His eyes widened with fear.

"I'll never act on it. Don't worry." Kaoru reassured waving his arms. "Lately it's only when I'm having a really bad day."

"Why didn't you say anything?" The able-bodied boy stood, forgetting their deal for the day, and paced the room.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Kaoru bounced back much to Hikaru's confusion. He stared down at the chair-bound twin. "You told me you were hurting, Hikaru. But you never told me just how much, not until now. You could have asked me these questions earlier."

"I wasn't ready…"

"I know, but I wish you had pushed yourself so you wouldn't have been worrying for so long."

"I'll be fine now," Hikaru stated. "Just as long as you promise to tell me when you have those thoughts."

Kaoru hesitantly nodded, unsure if he was comfortable pushing such morbidity to him.

Satisfied, Hikaru grabbed a hold of Kaoru's chair. He watched his brother stiffen in preparation to be moved against his will. It was a pet peeve he'd come to develop. Kaoru didn't have to say anything for him to get the hint.

"Can I move you to the couch? I want to try again." Hikaru asked. He watched Kaoru's posture melt, relaxing back into the chair.

"I was supposed to show you how first."

Hikaru shrugged, pushing Kaoru to sit in front of the seat so he could transfer himself. He flopped down, lifting his legs up so they sat atop the foot rests. Rocking back and forth, he mimicked Kaoru.

"You were fidgeting around so much I picked up a few things."

"Oh?" Kaoru said, amused. "Can you go get my Physics book then?"

A disgruntled Hikaru looked behind him to their desk. It seemed so far away, and he would have to turn in a full circle wouldn't he?

Trying to remember Kaoru's motions, he jerkily twisted the chair around. Once he lined himself up with his destination he gave one hard push so he sped over to the desk, catching himself just before he could hit the object.

Kaoru piped up behind him, chastising him lightly. "I know that seems fun now, Hikaru, but it won't be when you lose control and crash into something."

"Yeah, yeah." Hikaru waved him off, returning with the book in his lap. "I don't care. It's fun."

The younger twin rolled his eyes and picked up the book so he could flip to the correct page.

"One more question. It's a really big one so prepare yourself." Hikaru's face was deadly serious when Kaoru looked over to him. It worried him slightly. They'd just recovered from a talk about suicide, what could be more serious than that?

"Shoot."

"Do you still get hard?"

Kaoru sputtered and coughed in surprise at such a blatantly crude question. "What? Of course I do! What kind of question…you had me thinking it was really serious, Hikaru."

Hikaru raised his arms in defense, giggling and blocking Kaoru's playful hits. "What? You expected me not to be curious?"

"I can do everything. It just takes longer."

"Well if your wrist ever gets tired…" Hikaru sang jokingly.

Two loud thumps and a crash rang throughout the bedroom corridor the head maid patrolled.

She paused her dusting, and ran to the room of her employer's children as fast as her legs carried her. She would be in so much trouble if either boy came to be harmed under her watch. Opening the door she found an overturned wheelchair and both boys rolling on the floor, one putting the other in a headlock and the other kicking and laughing beneath him.

With a sigh she shut the door.


End file.
